FEAR and the 3 "F"s
It all begins with an idea.
FEAR and the 3 "F"s
When confronted by someone or an unusual event we are often surprised by our body's reaction, often interpreted as 'Fear'. At a physiological level our body is dumped with adrenalin which makes our muscles ready to fight or flee from any perceived attack or stressful situation, that is our 'fight' or 'flight' instinct. These two primordial responses are most obvious in children who will run away or lash out when stressed. But as we grow older our response is often overridden by our 'intelligent brain' which can place us into a state of internal conflict resulting in the third F, 'Freeze'. We can find ourselves in a state of denial that the circumstances, in which we find ourselves, should not be happening. Our gut tells us to run or fight while our socialised brain tries to make sense of the situation.
Adrenalin (epinephrine) is a natural body chemical that causes our muscles to perform quicker resulting in more strength and a faster response. Associated with this adrenal dump is a release of dopamine to act as a natural pain killer. All this results in reactions like shaky knees or butterflies in the stomach and a strong feeling that you want to be somewhere else. All of which is simply interpreted as fear. This is quite natural and can result whenever placed under stress, from being required to speak in public to being threatened by someone.
We need to teach our children that these feelings are quite natural and everybody feels them at some time. What we need to learn and teach is the appropriate reaction. We have alternatives, we can ..
a) accept or deny the situation;
b) Be challenged or threatened;
c) Think out an action plan or simply stop thinking.
If the cause of your stress is public speaking then you will find that having a plan and practice will help you overcome the fear.
FEAR - False Expectations Appearing Real.
Similarly, training the body and mind can help you to accept the situation, be challenged and not threatened, and to preplan your actions when challenged in a physical confrontation.
Pre-thought, pre-planned, prepared
Brought to you by Upwey Tae Kwon Do & Self Defence
ph: 9754 2252
e: upweytkd@rheetkdvic.com.au
Recognising Danger
It all begins with an idea.
Recognising Danger
We all want to ensure the safety of our children but keeping them safe can be a 24/7 job. We can ease the load on ourselves as parents by teaching our children to recognise potentially dangerous situations and appropriate responses whilst putting these ideas into practice for ourselves.
Teach our children and ourselves to recognise what is “normal” in our homes, schools, and local community. This will make it easier to spot incongruities that may signal a potential dangerous situation, such as
A darkened area that is normally lit.
Door locks not in their expected state. Perhaps the storeroom door is normally locked but you notice it is unlocked.
Someone approaching with a cricket bat but not dressed for sport or carrying a sports bag.
Someone matching your pace as you walk down the street.
More difficult ones include:
An injured or disabled person asking for help with packages. This is not to say that we should not offer assistance but that help should be appropriate to ensure your own safety. Children can fetch a known adult to provide assistance rather than get directly involved.
Similarly a request for assistance with sick child, a relative or the elderly could be used as an excuse or be legitimate call for help. Is the sick child actually present or is this just an excuse to get us to follow them? By making an alternative offer, such as phoning for help or fetching someone else better qualified to assist can help us decide the level of threat depending upon the response offered. Is the person asking for help insistent upon us helping or accepting of help from others?
We all like to help out someone with a lost dog or other pet, especially children. Cons relating to a lost pet prey upon our willingness to jump in and help animals without due consideration to the person asking and their reason for our help. Children should offer to get help from an adult and not to assist themselves, particularly if there is any request to go with someone to help look for the pet. By encouraging children to fetch adult help they will learn to be helpful, yet not put themselves closer to any potential danger.
Become aware of your own senses of hearing, seeing, smelling, touch, taste and your 'sixth sense’.
When arriving home can you smell something that may indicate a stranger in the house? Can you hear strange sounds or familiar sounds that may be missing?
Improve your memory of what is 'normal' in your everyday environment, at work, home, school or street. Observe your surroundings and become aware of the nearest open store, bus stop, police station or hospital; in fact any place where people gather day and night. Be aware of which neighbours are home at various times during the day. Is your local police, fire or ambulance station open 24 hours? If being hassled, where is the nearest place to go for assistance or just to settle your nerves?
Prevention is better than cure, so get to know your surroundings and understand what is ‘normal’ so that you will more easily recognise the abnormal without constantly worrying about any potential danger.
Pre-thought, pre-planned, prepared
Brought to you by Upwey Tae Kwon Do & Self Defence
ph: 9754 2252
e: upweytkd@rheetkdvic.com.au
Our Attitude
It all begins with an idea.
Our Attitude
Self defence begins in the mind because the mind controls the body. Neuro-association is the process of associating a thought with a physical action. For example, if I say the word 'run' to a jogger he will make the association with a run down the road. The same word (run) will be associated by many women with ruined pantyhose.
We can use this neuro-association as a safer living skill to train ourselves for successful outcomes in a confrontation. When we find ourselves facing a potentially dangerous situation, what images come to mind? Do we see ourselves successfully avoiding the confrontation; successfully negotiating our way out of harms way; successfully defending ourselves physically, or do we see ourselves being assaulted, suffering pain, etc?
Become pro-active rather than re-active. By visualising various situations in the comfort of your home, and perhaps practising some responses with friends, you can build a toolbox of neuro-associated safe responses to many situation before those situations occur and surprise you. Thus you will be pro-active (take the initiative) rather than re-active (being controlled by other persons).
Pre-thought, pre-planned, prepared
Brought to you by Upwey Tae Kwon Do & Self Defence
ph: 9754 2252
e: upweytkd@rheetkdvic.com.au
Why would I be a victim?
It all begins with an idea.
Why would I be a victim?
Victims of crime are just that, victims, and should never blame themselves or wonder what they did wrong or did to deserve some sort of punishment. Although any particular instance is often out of our control there are things that we can consider in order to minimise our risks without locking ourselves away and not having a ‘life’.
Self Defence is much less about one's ability to fight and more about knowledge of one's self and environment. We are born with a natural instinct for survival and self preservation but in our modern 'civilised' society much of this instinct has been conditioned out of us, particularly in women. The victim is often punished along with the perpetrator, especially as children in school when rules against ‘fighting' often punish the victim as well as the bully. We learn that standing up for ourselves is going to get us into trouble and therefore it is best to do nothing. We become programmed to be victims. Standing up for one's self does not necessarily mean fighting but being assertive or being involved as an onlooker when someone else is being victimised. Prevention is better than cure.
The more likely reasons a person is chosen as a victim are:
Available - you just happened to be around.
Accessible - you were within reach and without help.
Vulnerable - you appeared weaker or defenceless.
"Available".
The safest place to be when there is an assault about to happen is somewhere else. Although assaults often appear to be random they are not totally. The media often makes big headlines about a number of attacks in a particular area indicating that people in these areas are at greater risk. Fights outside of hotels and night clubs are a common occurrence and we all know of ‘those places’ to avoid at particular times. Is there greater risk of assault at a football match or a netball game? Think of a few places that you know are high risk and why they are that way.
Did you think of "the Home"? More violence occurs in the home than elsewhere, yet it gets very little press. Become involved in quelling domestic violence and we will have less violent children. Blessed are the Peacemakers.
"Accessible”.
It is not practical to lock oneself up at home, we all need to get out and conduct our daily business, to go to work, school or shopping and enjoy our leisure time. But we also need to be aware of our surroundings, what you are doing and what those around you are doing. Plan ahead so as to limit your accessibility to danger. For example when you go shopping and intend to follow up with an evening dinner or a film, think about where you park your car so that when you return to it late at night it will be close at hand. This may mean moving it between your shopping and the film. Plan ahead to be safer. Although it is unlikely that anything may go wrong if you don't move the car, you will be less stressed with a short walk back to your car after dark than when you have to wend your way across a poorly lit, half empty car park. You made yourself less accessible to danger through a little forethought.
As an exercise think about this scenario. You are walking along a poorly lit street between a row of parked cars and building fronts. Where would you walk so that you are least accessible to any potential attacker? Pre-thought, Pre-planned - Prepared! By walking along the footpath facing the on-coming traffic and thus the front of any parked cars, you are better able to look into cars and see if they are occupied. If you come from behind parked cars then it is difficult to see inside but also an occupant can spring open the door which can then act as a trap. By approaching the front of a car, when the door is opened it will be between yourself and the occupant. Should the occupant appear threatening you can turn and run or kick the door closed. You are less accessible and more aware of car occupants when approaching from the front of a vehicle. Don’t be afraid to cross the road or walk back where you came as if you had changed your mind rather than take risks passing a parked car with suspicious occupants.
“Vulnerable".
Fear expresses itself in our body language, such as downward looking, clutching at our belongings or suddenly changing direction. Develop a confident walk, be erect and looking at your surroundings with a goal in mind, even if it's only the next corner. Hold your belongings in a relaxed but firm grip. With a little practice you will appear more confident and less vulnerable.
Observe other people and assess their availability, accessibility and vulnerability. Whom could you attack and why? Why do some people appear more vulnerable than others? What habits can you change so as to make you less of a target? Hopefully no-one is still leaving their mobile phone sitting on top of the shopping trolley! Learn from the mistakes of others and understand what is confident body language and, like an actor, fake it until you make it.
Observation and practise will create new habits that minimise your availability, accessibility and vulnerability resulting in a more confident ‘you’ that is less likely to become a victim.
Pre-thought, pre-planned, prepared
Brought to you by Upwey Tae Kwon Do & Self Defence
ph: 9754 2252
e: upweytkd@rheetkdvic.com.au