Give To Gain: Reclaiming the meaning

What should we really be asked to do this IWD?

This year, alongside the official United Nations theme for International Women’s Day, another phrase has been circulating widely: Give To Gain.

The theme is driven by the IWD organisation and is largely positioned around corporate engagement and funding. In that context, the message makes sense. Invest in women. Fund initiatives. Support leadership. Gain stronger workplaces and economies in return.

Structural investment matters. Corporate influence shapes opportunity.

Yet when I first read the phrase Give To Gain, I felt uneasy.

Part of that discomfort came from the transactional tone. Give so that you gain. Contribute because there is a return. Support because it benefits you. If generosity is motivated primarily by self-interest, the culture it builds will always feel conditional.

The unease, however, ran deeper than transaction.

Women are already carrying disproportionate workloads. We are advocating for workload parity, for fair pay, for recognition of emotional labour, for shared domestic responsibility and for leadership opportunities that do not require self-sacrifice as a prerequisite. In that context, a theme that appears to ask women to give more, do more and contribute more can feel misaligned.

Many women are already giving relentlessly. To families. To workplaces. To communities. To schools. To friendships. Often without compensation and without acknowledgment.

The question becomes more nuanced.

Who is being asked to give?
What are we being asked to give?
Under what conditions?

If Give To Gain is interpreted as an instruction for women to stretch themselves thinner in the name of empowerment, it risks reinforcing the very imbalance we are trying to address.

Perhaps the invitation is not to give more, but to give differently.

What if the gain is not personal advancement or moral virtue, but collective strength? What if giving is not about unpaid labour or silent sacrifice, but about intentional contribution within systems that value and sustain the giver?

Generosity without boundaries becomes exploitation. Generosity within fair structures becomes power.

We are living in a time that amplifies scarcity. Rising costs of living, housing pressure, algorithm-driven comparison and public discourse that rewards outrage more than encouragement all contribute to a subtle contraction. In environments like this, it becomes easy to protect, to compete and to measure ourselves against one another.

Women are not immune to that pressure.

Much of the conversation around gender equality rightly focuses on structural barriers. There is also a quieter cultural layer that deserves reflection. Subtle comparison. Sideways competition. The instinct to critique rather than collaborate. The uncomfortable truth that sometimes women can be the harshest judges of other women.

This dynamic is not universal, but it is real.

In communities like ours, generosity is not abstract. Ideas posted casually can grow into workshops, programs and advocacy campaigns. Conversations can become movements. Referrals can become livelihoods. Encouragement can become courage.

Yet this ecosystem is fragile.

A dismissive comment can silence someone. A remark about self-promotion can discourage sharing. When one woman is knocked for thriving, it quietly teaches others to shrink. Celebration becomes risky. Visibility becomes cautious. Ambition is softened or hidden.

Withdrawal often follows. Isolation grows. Confidence erodes. Mental wellbeing is shaped not only by internal resilience but by the culture surrounding us. A community that celebrates women strengthens mental health. A community that undermines them weakens it.

There is also a generational dimension.

Young women are watching. Daughters are absorbing how we respond to other women’s success. They are learning whether ambition is something to apologise for or something to inhabit confidently. They are observing whether collaboration is stronger than competition.

The culture we create becomes the inheritance they receive.

If we want our daughters to step into rooms without shrinking, to celebrate their achievements without apology and to collaborate rather than compete, they must see those behaviours modelled. If we want them to experience leadership without self-erasure, they must witness generosity that is structured, respected and sustainable.

Perhaps the gain in Give To Gain is not brand value or personal advantage. Perhaps the gain is trust. Confidence. Shared strength. A community where women do not feel they must diminish themselves in order to belong.

Corporate funding has its place. Structural investment matters. Cultural investment matters just as much.

This International Women’s Day, the invitation is not to give more until we are depleted. It is to give consciously, within boundaries that honour our labour and our limits. It is to encourage publicly. To recommend generously. To invest in spaces that sustain women. To challenge subtle undermining when it appears. To model the environment we want our daughters to inherit.

Give in ways that expand the whole. Gain in ways that strengthen everyone.